The Mist

In the mist of all these shit i am feeling, i decided to do some random profiling and was shock to see the result.

Name: Lim Si Jie
Date: 12/7/2007
Colorgenics Number: 71206534

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Enough is enough - you feel frustrated and rejected. You are fighting back and the going is tough. It would be just wonderful if you could be left in peace.

You are a fighter and always on the defensive. You always need to be sure that your position is safe and established. When you finally make a decision you will pursue it to the bitter end in spite of all opposition.

You give the impression that you are a self-sufficient individual, pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure. But this is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional person, one that may make hasty decisions and perhaps repent at leisure. It is time now perhaps to break the bond of detachment and become the real 'you' - the you that you would like to be.

All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.

At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?

http://www.goldinuniverse.com/

How fucking true.

This Is My Decemeber..

I wonder why there are ups and downs in life when we all can be mono tone for good.
The fucking reason ppl give is that we can then treasure the good times.. but wait, how come i dun get to enjoy the fucking good time for a bit?

Dear lord,

I seriously think you are fucking around with me. No punt intended.

One moment i could be enjoying THE MOMENT of the year, and the next, i just might have been hit by a truck. So tell me, whats the fuck is all this about?

I am sick of all the reasoning. Sick of hearing anything and everything.

I am tired of being the way i am.

Just leave me alone, like you always had.

Look at me
Who am I supposed to be
and what do I believe?

Can you tell me
Since you made up your mind
Who knows what you believe

And I just don't know
Oh I just don't know, who am I supposed to be?

Look at me
Am I the image of you're hopes and tragedies
Just look at me
Will I ever be more than just a memory

I have decided to sleep when everyone is awake so that i can be left alone when everyone is asleep.

Keep a memory of me, not as a king or as a hero, but as a man fallible and flawed.

And so i meant up with the usual gang, my ex gf, family members, acquaintances.

Watched a couple of shows.
Drank a couple of beers.
Had a couple of good laughs.
And it all ended with going home after.

The cycle never changes.
Not that i am complaining, but i wish there were more to it.
Its getting there i foresee, i am sure, i bet it is.

Meanwhile, ever looking forward as usual.

Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come. So far, we are, so close.

The Take Over, The Break's Over

Say goodbye to everyone

I would like to give a honorable mention to everyone that i have known here; whom might not be here when i return the following year... You know who you are....

No matter how brief my encounter with you might be, its been nice knowing you.

Memories of you

For my friends whom have bothered to stay in touch with me even though i am far away, a big thanks, i be back soon enough. Again, you know who you are...

Baby, seasons change but people dont.

In a few hours time, the exams will officially be over, for me at least.
In a few days time, i be on the flight home for summer.
In a few weeks, i be complaining of boredom of having nothing to do.
In a month, i will be eager for an holiday.
In a couple of months, i be back in Perth doing the same routine.
In a year or two, i probably be used to the life and stop complaining.

The either of looking forward is stupid, because people change all the time.
At the start of exams, u just hope it ends quickly so u can start enjoying. But when it ends, u realised u have got nothing to keep u busy.

You look forward to going home, but u realised that by going home, u get the temporary satisfaction of seeing everyone again, doing things u like to do, then what?

When the day looms nearer to flying back, u feel that there isnt sufficient time to do the things u want, and regret not spending time more effectively.

The more you hope, the greater the disappointment.

I have learnt not to hope, because hope should not exist.

But then, i just cant help but hope.

Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive.

Poems 2007

Number 1
Hello there,

I need you by my side where,

The darkness and the feeling-less reside,

I need you here and always,

Your smile makes this all so worth it.

I put everything on the line,

Just so you will come by.

So hear me out tonight, selfishness aside,

Not to fight, to hell with the wrongs and rights.

It will just be you and I, today, tonight.

Number 2

I am holding on.

Listening to the music being sung,

The lyrics sad,

Makes it hard for me to be glad.

I grabbed a light,

Hoping it would make me feel alright.

Then you came by,

Sat right on the table by my side.

You were wearing black,

Makes it hard to figure out who’s that.

I wasn’t high,

I did not want to be just another guy.

As the night went by,

Never were you let out of my sight.

The feeling stayed,

Never thought it would last this long this way.

Moving on,

I knew it was time to make feelings known.

I didn’t care,

I knew I had to make something happen tonight, this day.

I was quite shy,

I didn’t dare look in your eyes.

I am falling off and I don’t know why….

Analysis

I suppose whenever i post something out, it means the thing has passed, no longer of concern, no longer of importance.
I guess this is no exception.

I told myself I won't miss you

Even if i wanted to, i dont think i will get to you.

Achievements for the month.

1. Passed Driving.
2. Finished All Assignments / Projects.
3. One month remains to going home.

Downsides for the month.

1. Lost Money Betting Soccer.
2. Overspent on events.
3. Shisha Smoking.

Things to look forward to :

1. MAZDA 2 NEXT YR BABY!!!!
2. Shopping after exams!!!

Things not looking forward to :

1. Sponsor for the car.
2. Budgeting when shopping.

Wonder why there is no exam anxiety?
Makes me wonder too.

Hi Pam, Hi Ade.
On the contrary, i find university, at least for now, super duper slack. The reason for my previous outburst was because i wasnt doing it till the last min, and now that i have cleared it, i am back to being slack again.

I NEED MOTIVATION, STUDY PARTNER. (maybe i should advertise for 1 in the school board)
Wanted : Study Partner
Willing to pay any price.

HAHA.

Anyways, i am looking forward to being home.

No 1, i can drive my dad car around now!!!!!
No 2, i wanna eat all the food out there!!!!
No 3, i wanna see everyone and do many things, even though nothing comes to mind now.

Alright, enough of me being a bimbo.
Sadly, there is nothing sad for me to write about tonight.

I'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell.

Basic principles... there are none.

Swan Valley was a blast. We drank wine, we had cake, coffee, sandwiches.
We had FUN.
And i got drunk. What's new.


You know what it's like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you.

Interesting thought.

I am fucked for the coming week. Marketing 100 is fucked, nothing is done. Accounting 100, i got screwed over. Management is due. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK...

OK. i am drunk. Cheers.